Kestrel
Firstly, I want to say how happy I am to be here and how pleasant 99% of the game was - I really think we had a great cast here and there was a point in merge where I could see almost anyone winning. I also want to shout out to my two finalists - cat, you've been my friend since the day we met, and capy, who has shown me that sometimes a relationship can be utilitarian and still work. Lastly, *salutes the eagle*
I came into the game with a plan - stay at the top of the middle. Be social, but not too social. Above all, keep your ears and options open: and although I didn't manage the first one, i stuck to this one like glue. I also got asked a lot why I chose my animal, and my answer was a roadmap to my strategy every time - 'cute, not not too cute. Predator, but not too threatening'. I want to be clear that the way I played the game was deliberate, and consistent .
However, there were a few tweaks to my early plan though - the lack of activity across the early game meant it was almost inevitable I would stand out more socially than I wanted, and my avatar! My avatar led to what became known as the 'kestrel face': the face of innocence, of quirkiness, of 'who me'.
Aeria
Very early on, the tribe split into 'here and not here'. Some of my emotionally closest relationships were with those who sadly weren't here, which meant that I formed more strategic relationships with eagle, moth and butterfly. Although it was frustrating, voting out friends, it did lead to an easy few votes. Until we got axol, and I got a reminder of why playing too hard always comes back to bite you, as moth went balls to the wall to ensure ele went home here. it's interesting that such a defining point in my early game (the vote changed my relationship with snowy, cemented things with eagle and ended up losing me my 'no 1 ally on paper' in moth, came down to such a non event (voting one inactive over another), but it crystalised some relationships. It also flagged to me I'd been neglecting snowy owl, although this was a lesson I didn't learn enough from.
Carnivora
Although other tribes, like Mamalia, were more important 'strategy and structure - wise', this tribe was key for me socially, because of rat and cat. Although I swapped into this tribe in a definite minority, not only did cat and axol immediately pitch and aqautica+me and eagle majority, I found a group I was much more comfy with - r.e.c.k (me, cat, rat and eagle). Meeting rat here was massive for me, as I had been missing an ally who could balance the social and strategic side, and I just vibed with their overall view of gameplay. This relationship also gave me an in to terra, later, and was the first time I was able to gather and swap info. I also solidified a much more Personal relationship with cat, which throughout the game was probably the easiest to maintain. The votes on this tribe again came down to activity and people's personal issues, but the time was used wisely. It also meant I started a personal relationship with bunny - they weren't the most active here, but we started to develop a friendship that would be vital.
Mamalia
This was the first big hurdle for me. On paper, I arrived in this tribe the weakest connected - butterfly, lion and mongoose had just been together, bunny and lion knew each other, and I only knew bunny and butterfly. Plus, from info gathering conversations with others, I knew how behind I was on acorns - and I was doing better than the average on that tribe! Even so, I was happy to follow lions plan to dump acorns and try and avoid tribal. A different person makes a different decision here, as I should've potentially seen that we were never going to win, but a lot of decisions I make are about doing the 'right' thing - and here it was to support my tribe.
Of course we lost! And I'll confess, for the first time I was really, really scared. But, myself, bunny and lion were all online just after deadline, and I can't overstate how important that conversation was- by the three of us being open and honest, lion 100% won my respect and bunny 100% won my care. I went into the vote confident that I was in a better position than when I entered the tribe.
And then we went to Tc again!!! It's also worth pointing out at this point that both other tribes had a free off in dog, but we didn't. At this point we had four really strong contenders for end game, just before merge, in a tangled set of relationships and noone knew what to do. Although I can't claim 100% credit for the move of voting butterfly in the firm belief they'd come back via the twist....I want to claim some of it. Because I was the one who introduced this idea back on aeria. It's not like me to approach a 'structural' element of the game like this, but I realised that you could use something that was presented as a negative, as a positive, and I discussed it way back when. I firmly believe this made the fact that it became up for conversation this round a lot more likely, and natural. And it worked!
Merge-ish
The first vote was something that was surprisingly set in stone for me - although I knew that there was a lot of concern around the numbers from terra, and although I knew that although on paper I had four aeria, voting seal with his potential advantaged was a really good way to solidify things with cat and remove someone who although I liked, clearly didn't trust me. By this point I knew they'd seen the idol hunt map be taken, although they didn't address it with me. Although there was a lot of noise this round (secret plurality plans! Did bunny say names?! etc ) I did at the end of the round what I wanted at the start.
It was also the start of information gathering - learning of the terra+butterfly conspiracy, learning about lions fake idol, learning where 2/3 of the advantages for the predator game were....plus learning who I could trust. capy's approach to the eating game really impressed me and showed we could have a working relationship. I was also starting to confirm my concern that both butterfly and snowy had moved on from our aeria relationship and that I should invest elsewhere, which I did in the swap tribe, consolidating with bunny. I feel like this vote on sloth was a little inevitable
It made the next two votes easier - I felt like some people expected me and eagle to slot into the bottom of a terra+ butterfly alliance, but they didn't know how close I was to rat and cat. This early in merge, only eagle seemed to appreciate how close I was to lion and bunny, but this just meant I had options. After TCS where names and conspiracies were being thrown out, it felt like the source of this was coming from snowy/butterfly/frog. Frog also had a strange moment where he confronted me with the fact that my options might matter to people - specifically in regards to voting bunny, but it felt emblematic of a wider problem - that people liked me but were underestimating me massively.
Around this time, eagle told me he'd made a relationship chart - considering up to this point we'd shared nearly everything, I very cheekily asked to see it. And knock me down with a feather, I got sent it! Under my name were two facts: people tell kestrel everything and noone considers them a threat.
But this is exactly where I wanted to be. Because it gave me options. Options to vote out the remaining two aeria and it not tank my game - I had other relationships. Options to be the swing vote - to vote aeria, then aquatica, then terra, and it lead to the same end result. Options to discuss my voting preferences honestly, with people like lion, rat and bunny. Throughout the merge I always had two choices open to me that both worked! At times I maybe looked indecisive, but I wanted to be open about my thought process. But some people took it better than others - it was around here that I felt rather than me and bunny being strategic partners with different outlooks, they had a very clear agenda that they just weren't sharing.
This vote is the one vote that I can't confidently say I was sure of the outcome on, and actually my only 'incorrect' vote. It was also the first time I lied, and possibly the first time my allies lied to me. I first knew about the flip to bunny about 30 minutes before deadline, when I was asked to assent to it because of the extra vote. I can't say with certainty whether it would've happened without my assent - but it mattered to people to have it. Why give it? Honestly, I was upset. Lion had basically blown our relationship up in the last hour or so to prevent him being voted out, kicking me in my most vulnerable spot, and bunny had listened to my concerns about the vote and told me in detail why I was wrong. I left my vote on lion to make it look like I didn't know what was happening and to distance myself from 'eagle's' move ...something that turned out in my favour.
I did a lot of work that night to repair a relationship with lion, work which got me told about the edge, and even what the f4 firemaking challenge was. I don't think even then lion expected me to save him...I like to think it was an appology. It also drew more attention to eagle, and weakened eagle's relationship with rat.
Plus, it allowed me to honestly tell eagle I couldn't bring him to endgame. It's a minor detail, but being honest is important.
I wish things would've been different with the next two votes. I wish I hadn't been sick, I wish snowy could've come back with an advantage, emotionally I wished to have taken rat forward over capy, who I still only had a 'working" relationship with. I wish owl hadn't come in with a spotlight in public about my game, which suddenly made winning at f4 feel imperative! But people are people and you can't control them!
I also can't control immunity runs - but I could control my decision to take cat to the end. I had the opportunity to take cat and to leave capy, who was better at challenges, to take out eagle. Although I have picked another 'social" threat to go to the end with, I think I've shown that not only did I make relationships, but that I used them strategically. I've spoken a lot throughout the game about balance - and the fact that the social and strategic skills aren't seperate: to be truly good at one, you have to be good at the other.
I've played a lot of games and I truly believe this is my best example of marrying the two. Cute, but not too cute. Predatory, but not too threatening. I was someone people wanted around, as a friend, as an ally, or even as a number, but I never stopped making it work for me. At times, I had a horrible spot on paper - Mamalia, coming into merge knowing the joint least amount of people, not being in a ride or die starting tribe alliance, attending 7/9 of the first TCS, 2am tribal after 2am tribal...but I always was able to pull through.
Thank you for reading, and playing with me. I know some people probably have some pointed questions, but I'm more than willing to discuss with you!